Max Schieble on: Sister Cities

I don't care much for sister cities. It's not even so much the cities themselves as it is the whole concept. "Wait, Max, what is a sister city?" Well, reader, "sister cities" is a term denoting two cities that have reached some sort of agreement or cooperation because they share similar geographical or cultural aspects. It's a very vague concept, really.

Take, for instance, my hometown of Sausalito, California. Apparently, Sausalito is siblings with the city of Sakaide, Kagawa, Japan. Why? Well, let me tell you that there is absolutely no reason why. These two cities have nothing in common. And I don't mean that, yeah, they're kind of similar, but also a little different. No. These cities are nothing alike. The populations differ by nearly 50,000, the total area, in addition to one city favoring the metric system and one using the, um, other system, differs by over thirty miles, and on top of all that one has a much more informative Wikipedia page than the other. And those are just the logistical comparisons. You know what else the two don't have in common? Culture. What shock I experienced in learning that a small town in America and a fairly bigger town in Japan do not share any similar cultural aspects. Imagine that.

Really the only connection between the two is that Sausalito constantly receives a heavy flow of Japanese tourists. That's it. Well that, and the fact that they're both located near some body of water. If that's all it takes though, why stop there? I say we create a family of all cities that reside near water. Yeah. Yeah! That would be something. And maybe another family of all cities that are near land.

Another foolish aspect of the whole sister cities thing is evidenced in the sisterhood of Toledo, Ohio and Toledo, Spain. What family do you know that gives two sisters the same name? Yeah, that's what I thought.

There's just no reason that I can find for these cities to be related. It's not like they ever get together for family dinners, or for holidays. Sausalito never goes over to Sakaide, Kagawa for Christmas, or for Sakaide's birthday. That would be cool though. That I could get along with.

And just who are the parents in this worthless game of house? Exactly who is the mother? England? I don't think any British ever sailed over to, and usurped, an already inhabited Japan. No, I'm pretty sure that never happened.

Well, that's about it. I really don't like this sister cities thing. You know what I do like though? T-shirts with pockets, sometimes referred to as pocket tees. I would like to tell you that from now on I'm going to be wearing exclusively pocket tees, but in actuality I imagine that it will be more of a 70-30 type ratio, with pocket tees being worn 70% of the time.

Overheard

While on a bus:

Girl 1: You know what's really awesome?

Girl 2:What?!!

Girl 1: Sidekicks! Omg I want one so so bad.....like really bad!

Girl 2: Omg I know! They have, like, keyboards!

Girl 1: I know I want one sooooooo bad! Keyboards!!

Girl 2: Yea so good for texting......cause of the keyboards!

Girl 1: And the screen flips up!

Girl 2: Awww yea the flip screen!!

Wait. I'm sorry, did I accidentally step onto a bus from 2006? Because I'm pretty sure that was the last time it was acceptable to actually want a sidekick.

LMGTFY

We've all dealt with it. That person in your life who seems to only exist so that they can ask you stupid questions. You could both be sitting at desks, on your computers, and no matter what you're doing, whether it be relaxing or writing a 20 page paper, this person never fails to turn around (away from their computer I might add) and ask you something like, "How old is Britney Spears"? (You'd be surprised at the amount of times I've been asked that question) And unfortunately for you, no matter how often you shoot them the Are you serious look they still don't get it.

My advice?

Hit em with this. It's sarcasm and ridicule wrapped up in one condescending package! (aka the best kind of package) Try it! Even if you don't plan on using it on someone, it's comforting to know it exists.

And if for some reason that doesn't get your point across, you could always try this.

Gucci

Today I went with Max and Sam on their search for some apparently dope sneaker store that they saw a couple of days ago. Did we find it? Of course not. No surprise there. I haven't been able to find anything that I've had any urge or need to find since I've gotten here (slight exaggeration). So anyway as I was walking home I happened to pass the Gucci store, and suddenly words from a wise man resounded in my head........

GUCCI!!!

Do you know he got an ice cream cone tattooed on his face two days after he got out of a mental asylum? If you don't think this is weird then you probably have the same tattoo.

But in all seriousness, I think Gucci Mane is misunderstood. In his song 'I'm Cool' he says,

I count a hundred Grand then I ate some Cereal

What more can we expect from a man with such a long morning routine?