A Study Of The Noob In Modern Day Society, Pt. 1

What's the worst thing in the world? I'll give you a hint, it's not war or famine. It's a noob. More specifically, for today at least, it's noobs who cannot properly ride the bus. This morning I was fortunate enough to stand behind a girl on the bus who just refused to hold on to any of the railings or poles. As a result she continuously fell backwards, bumping into me. Now, were we at a school dance this would be perfectly acceptable, and in response, I would grab her by the hips and we would "dance". As I mentioned, however, this was not a dance. It was a bus ride.

For the simple fact that I am successful at any and all endeavors I undertake, noobs annoy me. Over the course of however long this blog lasts I will detail my encounters with noobs, and together we will investigate just why they noob it so hard.

I am sensing that some of you are still a little confused as to the exact definition of a "noob". "What is a noob?" "Am I a noob?" No, just the fact that you're reading this blog makes me confident that you are not a noob. And if by some slim chance you are, don't worry, for it won't last much longer. I couldn't bear to see you waste your life like that.

Here is just a brief history on the term noob: It comes from the word "newbie". It also comes from the gaming community. They would use it as a derogatory term for someone who made a novice mistake. At some point I adopted the term noob, not as a gamer of computer games, per se, but as a gamer of life. And in the game of life, as you will soon come to realize, there are many noobs.