Max Schieble on: Popular Sayings and Other Grievances

There are a number of sayings that people often get confused. "I could care less!" Oh you could, could you?

Well I couldn't.

Then there's the whole business of this damn wagon. He's off the wagon, he's on the wagon, he's off the wagon and back on the horse. I'm not really interested in his mode of outdated transportation, I just want to know if he's drinking or not.

Or how about when someone is telling you a story and they feel the need to use a quote, at the end of which they say, "and quote." Are you kidding me? It's not and quote. It's end quote. I think I've ended about three friendships based on this error.

And then there's this little interaction that I was fortunate enough to be a part of the other day while waiting at the bus stop in the pouring rain:

"Hey, did the bus come?"

"No."

"I mean, did it just come?"

"No."

"Well did you see it and run for it and miss it?"

No, I didn't do any of that. Why is it so hard for you to believe that there has been no sign of the bus since I have arrived here.

"No, none of that happened."

"Well do you know when it's coming?"

"No."

And at that final "no," my new friend became very offended and thankfully went and stood by himself. True, that wasn't really about a misused saying, but he was out of line. What I failed to mention, was that the young gentleman who engaged me in that discussion actually had an umbrella. An umbrella! What did he care when the bus came? I, on the other hand, had no umbrella and as a result was soaking wet. I would imagine you think I have some sort of dislike for umbrellas, to which I would inform you that you are wrong. I just don't like carrying things.

That's about it. I mean, sure, there are other sayings that people misuse, and those misusages certainly bother me. But, I mean, whatever.

Well, here's another thing, have you ever noticed that some shampoos actually make you hair dirty? Maybe it's just me.