Senseless Integration

There's a big difference between Green Mint Chip ice cream and White Mint Chip ice cream. Have you noticed this? White Mint Chip is much more of the day time Mint Chip. It's a little more relaxed, more soothing; it's a much calmer Mint Chip, perfect for eating in a garden, or a hammock, perhaps. Green Mint Chip, on the other hand, is the flavor of the night. It's intense, and badass, meant to be consumed while wearing a leather jacket and suitable for cone only (cups are much too mellow for the flavor that is Green).

White Mint Chip is the type to be served at a barbeque, whereas Green is ideal for a birthday party. Similarly, Green is to be ordered at an ice cream parlor, while White is meant for at-home enjoyment. A peculiar phenomenon occurs though when it comes to the ice cream cake. Have you ever had ice cream cake? If so, then you'll agree that in terms of the ice cream filling either Green Mint Chip or White Mint Chip is suitable. More than suitable, really. Mint Chip ice cream, regardless of color, is the ideal filling for an ice cream cake.

Ice cream cake. Man, what an innovation.

Some people would say that the only difference between the two Mint Chips is that Green is more artificially flavored. False. While it may (may) use a bit of artificial coloring, Green Mint Chip possesses a natural flavor worlds apart from that of its White counterpart. One bite of Green and instantly you are transported to a dark, dimly lit street corner (à la Sinatra's In The Wee Small Hours) where you are preparing for a knife fight. A bite of White, conversely, sends you out to the pasture where you are frolicking and horsing around with your uncle (this, of course, before his terrible accident in Maine).

Don't expect me to pick a favorite during the course of this post. That would be impossible. As I explained, the two varieties aspire to much different occasions. In the morning when I am lounging in my garden wearing all linen and listening to Elsanor (my harp player) play the harp would you really expect me to eat Green Mint Chip? Reader, please, have some compassion! Or at night when I arrive at the bar on my chopper, dressed in leather pants and a denim jacket, with a denim shirt and leather boots I should order, what, White Mint Chip? In a cup? Ha! No, a favorite is surely impossible to pick. It really is a travesty that they are both housed under the moniker of Mint Chip. Were they to be commonly recognized as different flavors, say, Mint Chip and Mint Chocolate Chip, what have you, there would be no need for this senseless favoritism. Alas, as long as this unjust flavor integration exists, I suspect Mint Chip fans will forever remain divided.

Let us, for a moment, return to the subject of ice cream cake. Seriously, is there a better type of cake? Well, yes; yes I suppose there is, but ice cream cake is pretty great. I am always thrilled to find a birthday party. Additionally, I am always thrilled to find a birthday party playing host to an ice cream cake. It really is the perfect touch.

So, in review: Mint Chip, whether Green or White: Great. Ice cream cake: Also great.